Q&A 52
Q. I see... Two last questions on this love-choice-100%-vocation story before I take you back specifically to questions on Opus Dei...
A. Shoot!
Q. So if to love is a choice and not a feeling, how does one choose who to love (or does that not matter)?
A. It does. And it is completely up to you.
Two questions I would ask:
1. Does she help me improve myself as a person?
2. If I were to die early, I'm I comfortable with her raising our children? (This I heard from my high school Religion & Ethics teacher. Still rings profound to me 20 years later!)
If the answer to both questions is yes, then you are on the right track.
Q. Ok. But this love-is-a-choice story: can you choose to hate your mother? Can a mother choose to hate her newborn baby? Do teachers choose to have favourite students? I can't see a clear distinction between love as a choice or as a consequence.
A. It can be incredibly hard to love someone you intensely dislike as it is to hate someone you intensely like. But both are possible. If they weren't, Christ would not ask us to love our enemy or to hate sin. On the other hand, it is incredibly easy to love what you intensely like as happens in many relationships: she's pretty, you like what you see; you meet up with her, you like what you hear; you keep hanging out with her, you like her personality and then the decision comes to make it something serious. Similarly, it is very easy to hate what you intensely dislike as in societal injustices such as our ubiquitous corruption. Generally, where emotions and love/hate are aligned, then that love/hate tends to be a consequence; where they are opposed, love/hate tends to be a choice.
One real-life story may help to understand better... Will post it jioni
Stay tuned.
5thDecember 2015