Q&A 204
Continued from Q&A 203
A. What makes Jesus so different a man that he did not have sexual intercourse?
Q. Yes. That was one of my questions.
A. Well, three ideas.
First, not all men in history (or women, for that matter) have had sexual intercourse; and they have lived a normal and very fruitful life. Sex is not a basic human requirement, believe it or not. Even today, it is possible to live a normal and meaningful life without sex. Celibacy is possible! But even Jesus was clear that it is not for everyone. It is only for those who receive it as a divine gift. And allow me to quote here from a book I read many years ago:
Celibacy is difficult because it requires control of the most intense of the three concupiscences: pride, or the affirmation of self; avarice, or the excessive acquisition of property; and sex, or the desire for unity with spouse and prolongation of the human species. …Every passion has an object which excites it… A husband who loves his wife intensely has little problem with fidelity, but one who is constantly quarrelling is often in search of greener pastures. All we have to do is find out what is anyone’s supreme object of love, and we will find a corresponding surrender.
Notable examples of celibacy have manifested themselves in the modern world. Gandhi, for example, was a deeply religious man. He loved the Untouchables so much for God’s sake that he became a celibate at the age of thirty-one. He took a vow, with his wife’s consent, to practice celibacy the rest of his life. He claimed he had a “dharma,” a life task or life mission which he was to follow at all costs. That meant for him the practice of two virtues – poverty and celibacy. ...As Gandhi himself explained: “I wanted to devote myself to the service of the community, so I had to relinquish the desire for children and wealth and live the life of ‘Vanaprastha,’ that is, one retired from household cares.”
Dag Hammarskjold, late Secretary-General of the United Nations, was another who believed in celibacy because of the passionate love for a goal, namely, peace among nations. As he put it: “For him who has responded to the call of the Way of Possibility, loneliness may be obligatory.” On his fifty-third birthday, he penned this line to God: “If Thou give me this inescapable loneliness so that it would be easier for me to give Thee all.” Being a normal man, he felt “a longing to share and embrace, to be united and absorbed.” But, like Gandhi, he affirmed “the loneliness of celibacy may lead to a communion closer and deeper than any achieved by two bodies.”
Some in the United Nations poked fun at him because of his celibacy and accused him of homosexuality. Dag would turn their jabs into jokes. So passionate was his love for brotherhood among nations that he saw that much cargo had to be thrown overboard to save the ship.
What should come out clearly here, is that “celibacy” for its own sake is usually a disaster – it actually becomes a form of selfishness (where one refuses to give himself to others. And like all good things, when we keep them to ourselves they rot – ask Gollum). True celibacy is always for the sake of an ideal or a person viewed as greater than oneself.
Earlier we had said that sex is not a basic human requirement. What is basic to every human is to love and be loved; to give love and to receive love; to have something (or someone) to give your entire self to and to receive their entire selves in return. A celibacy that serves such an ideal will last despite any and all temptations. And they do experience these temptations! Fornicators do not believe that anyone is celibate. They project their won eroticism to everyone. On the other hand, celibates are the ones who most understand the weakness of the fornicators. …Who knows the strength of a wind? The one who is blown over by it, or the one who can stand and resist?
To be continued…
21stSeptember 2019