Q. Haha!
A. One rabbi tells the story of an elderly gentleman who once asked a young man, “Why are you eating that fish?”
The young man says, “Because I love fish.”
He says, “Oh. You love the fish. That’s why you took it out of the water and killed it and boiled it.
Don’t tell me you love the fish. You love yourself, and because the fish tastes good to you, …you took it out of the water and killed it and boiled it.”
The rabbi concludes: “So much of what is “love” is fish love. And so, a young couple falls in love – a young man and a young woman fall in love. What does that mean? That means that he saw in this woman someone who he felt could provide him with all of his physical and emotional needs and she felt in this man somebody she feels that can… That was “love” but each one was looking out for their own needs. It’s not love for the other. The other person becomes a vehicle for my gratification.
Too much of what is called “love” is fish love. An external love is not on what I’m gonna get but I’m gonna give.”
Eros is fish love.
Q. That’s deep!
A. Thought the same when I first heard it!
Q. And then what are the other Greek loves?
A. Just before moving to the next one, I think it is good to note that this modern erotic love is pure and simply biological. It is always reactionary and never lasts.
Q. What do you mean?
A. “Reactionary” means it is activated when it receives certain stimuli. It does not activate itself.
And it never lasts because the way the body is designed by nature, any repeated stimuli eventually wanes and becomes practically imperceptible. You work in a cow shed or pig farm and on the first day the stench gives you a headache. By the third week you don’t even notice it. Same thing with eros. This is why people hooked on pornography for example have to keep “upping their doses” to get the same kick.
The Greeks… had a second word for love which was philia. Philia is known to everyone because we know Philadelphia. And philia was a love for humanity. And it was to be irrespective of any classes, race, colours, or any other distinction. …Philia implies solidarity and community.
Philiawas not just a liking, it was a loving. Now there is a difference between the two. Liking is in the emotions, in the feelings; loving is in the will. Because liking is in the emotions, the emotions can change, go down. But loving is in the will and is therefore subject to command. Hence our Lord said: "A new commandment I give you…” COMMANDMENT. “…love one another as I love you." This is the difference between the two.
And a story to illustrate what philia is like in practice.
Q. Yes!!!
To be continued.
21stSeptember 2017