Q. But you guy! I still have this unsatisfied feeling that you haven't really answered my question...
A. Which one?
Q. When am I expected to end a friendship according to that prudence stuff you were speaking about earlier?
A. You're looking for a neat list?
Q. More like concrete examples. You already said a neat list is not possible.
A. OK.
If we agree on order among your loves or friendships, then we can give some concrete examples.
If you have a friend who because of the way he or she is, and because of the type friendship between the two of you, every time you hang out (or at least a majority of the time) you end up being disloyal to God or to your wife or your fiancée or significant other or your kids i.e. you offend or sin against them, then if that friend is not willing to rectify and help you honour these greater friendships, then prudence would suggest it would be better not to hang out any more.
Q. What do you mean by "offend or sin against" God, your wife, your fiancé, your children etc.?
A. So for example every time I hang out with this particular friend I always miss Church on Sunday. That's an offence against God.
Or every time I hang out with this particular friend I always fall into adultery: that's an offence against God and others (both your spouse and your children).
Or every time I hang out with this particular friend I always end up drunk: that's an offence against God, others and self.
Q. So in such circumstances I should end those friendships?
A. If those friends are not willing to rectify and help you be a better person by living order, then prudence dictates end that friendship.
Q. But also if they simply are not interested in me becoming a better person then they're not really friends, are they?
A. Exactly!
Q. And what if I argued I'm tolerating these disorders, offences or sins so that I can help a friend of mine?
A. One lady from Spain would say, for our friends we're willing to go to the gates of hell - but not beyond.
Q. So my own safety or virtue first?
A. Yes.
Q. And that's not selfish ...or is it one more of those "holy" "selfishnesses" you guys conveniently throw in here and there?
A. It's the law of self-preservation at a spiritual level.
Happy feast day!
14thSeptember 2016