Q&A 107
Q. Wsup! I've been following these Q&A posts keenly for a while now and in a special way this last series on friendship. Allow me to dandiaon this one coz whereas I do want to improve my friendships and myself as a friend, I think what you guys have debated so far is highly theoretical.
A. Ok...
Q. In a post you made many months back you threw in a quotation that I really liked: "The most practical thing is a good theory."
A. Oh ya! I heard it from a friend of mine...
Q. So with all this good theory on friendship, where do we start the practical part? If the best friendships are the ones that teach us how to give more, how do I begin putting that into practice?
A. How do you learn to walk? By walking! How do you learn to pray? By praying! How do you learn to play guitar? By playing guitar! How do we learn to give in friendship? By giving in friendship!
Q. Yes... But how exactly? Or what exactly?
A. Well top of the list would certainly be time. Just to spend time with your friends... And to spend time praying for your friends...
Then there are the small details of affection and courtesy that Pope Francis was repeating at the World Youth Day two weeks ago: to use more frequently the words "May I (Please)", "Thank you" and "I forgive".
Q. Is that it?
A. Not really... Because there is one supreme ingredient needed in any friendship. Without it, even the time we spend with them or for them rots from the inside; our affection and courtesy without it rings hollow...
Q. Love? Charity?
A. Exactly! Sharp guy!
Q. But that's back to theory!
A. The test for true love or true charity is always sacrifice. This is why even God didn't just forgive us from the comfort of heaven but from the torments of Calvary. Being there for your fiancé or spouse or friend precisely when everything else - interests, finances, urgencies, excitements, physical emotions - are pulling you in a different direction.
Q. Does this mean sacrifice is a passive thing? That I have to wait when I don't feel like loving my friend: when I'm more interested in watching a series, when I'd prefer to eat at that other place, etc?
A. Nope. You could also practice a self-less, self-forgetful, self-sacrificing love of friends by learning to think about them first. You have something to pray for? Pray for your friend first. You're going to buy some groceries at the (super)market? Ask them if there's anything you can get them while you are there. You love downloading music? Find out what he or she may want downloaded as well. You're going out for a bite? Ask them if they would like to join. Have you finished your work or chores or assignments? Go help them with theirs. You're about to serve dinner or desert? Pick the smaller piece of chicken or the more rotten banana or the less ripe watermelon. Are you both about to join some friends in the car? Let them have the window seats... The list is endless.
Q. Wow. Ummm... Let me ruminate on those first... Thanks!
Happy Sunday!
14th August 2016