Commentary on frustration cont’d…
To resolve frustration, we were saying, we need to understand (manly) growth takes time, that the growth requires the right means be employed, and that the growth has its opponents.
7. Another good piece of advice I’ve received often is to look at the bigger picture. Take a step back (like in your monthly recollection or annual retreat) and observe the entire war, rather than just that one battle that is proving frustrating. Progress may be lacking in the area you’re focused on, but present elsewhere. A good mentor will help you see this.
8. Another counter-intuitive piece of advice is from a certain Spanish author. He would write “You are not getting worse. — It is just that now you have more light to see yourself as you really are. You must avoid even the slightest hint of discouragement.” And God would give you more light to see yourself now as you really are, because you’ve matured enough to handle it and to do something about it. He’s like a parent who doesn’t let the kids know the dire financial straits the family is in, until the kid is old enough to understand and perhaps help out.
9. Related to point no. 2 in Part 63 is the occasional need to change tactics. Some bad habits for example cannot be uprooted by directly working on them e.g. pride. They have to be attacked indirectly. Again, your mentor, is extremely useful here. He can help you know when and how to change tactics.
10. If the frustration comes from lack of progress (or growth) in a bodily skill (like playing pool or football) or an intellectual pursuit (like learning a language or accounting), we also need to acknowledge that some particular skills require an innate or natural talent as a pre-existing foundation for any extraordinary results or progress to be made.
a. Here I rely on the distinction between talent and skill that Will Smith makes (see Annex 67 below).
b. It is not true you can be good at anything you want as long as you put in the necessary hard work! I realise this is incredibly popular modern-day pop psychology that is now taken as a universal dogma. But popularity is not the same as truth.
To be continued…
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